da Giorgio
gio gen 23, 2014 4:38 am
Bottle Of Mountain Dew Accidentally Labelled As Macallan Sells For £580,000
January 22, 2014 by whiskysponge
It looks quite like that Ruby one
It looks quite like that Ruby one
It emerged last night that the recent extravagant sale of a Macallan bottle was in actual fact a bottle of Mountain Dew ‘Code Red’ that belonged to a dead-eyed worker at Edrington’s bottling plant who had mistakenly sent the bottle through the labelling machine while desperately trying to ignore the voices in his little Scottish head.
Rory McTeflon, head of Macallan’s new ‘Blunderbuss To Own Feet’ initiative said from a sherry hogshead full of five pound notes:
“We were all rather surprised. We hadn’t planned an auction until later in the year, we were waiting to sell off the new Fine Oak NAS Kentucky Cluster Space Magnum in April, but it was all quite a pleasant surprise to see that people will buy literally any shit with our brand logo smeared across the front. Obviously we did what we always do and just tell people it was for charity, that seems to work every time.”
Other notable recent auction results for Macallan have been:
1: A branded tablecloth from the mid 1990s that someone once spilled a sizeable measure of the 1970 Anniverary Malt over. Hammer: £980
2: The overalls of infamous stillman Chester ‘Fingers’ MacTwitchy, which he reputedly wore while distilling in his sleep for several months during the late 1980s. Hammer: £1100
3: The empty cask in whose bung hole one of the distillery shareholders accidentally trapped their testicles in 1988 after a particularly heated game of ‘warehouse scrabble’ turned ugly. Hammer: £3500
4: One of the spark plugs from the Easter Eggs’ estate lawnmower which was temporarily used as a stopper for an open bottle of Ghillie’s Dram in 2009. £3700
Macallan had numerous places they could stick it
Macallan had numerous places they could stick it
5: Last of a batch of specially produced large branded candles used for an experiment in firing the slowest ever distillation run, the project was abandoned after 3 consecutive weeks and 483 candles. Hammer: £5800
Rory McTeflon added:
“There’s such a thirst for our brand at the moment. I’ve actually had our logo tattoed on my penis. It looks fine most of the time but unfortunately when I get an erection it kind of looks like its dissolving. Admittedly it was done on a whim and I probably didn’t think it through as well as I could have done. At least I got a blowjob from a someone called Professor Gunter in Dubai last week. He said he was an ‘avid’ collector so I said to him he seemed like a guy with a ‘CUMpletist’ attitude to collecting and he was like ‘yeah totally, are you asking for a blow job?’ I’m not gay but I was just so temporarily in awe of my own wit I lost all sense of place for about 2 minutes and by that time he’d already finished. In all fairness he had just had a dram of the Gold so he probably just wanted to get the taste out of his mouth.”
January 22, 2014 by whiskysponge
It looks quite like that Ruby one
It looks quite like that Ruby one
It emerged last night that the recent extravagant sale of a Macallan bottle was in actual fact a bottle of Mountain Dew ‘Code Red’ that belonged to a dead-eyed worker at Edrington’s bottling plant who had mistakenly sent the bottle through the labelling machine while desperately trying to ignore the voices in his little Scottish head.
Rory McTeflon, head of Macallan’s new ‘Blunderbuss To Own Feet’ initiative said from a sherry hogshead full of five pound notes:
“We were all rather surprised. We hadn’t planned an auction until later in the year, we were waiting to sell off the new Fine Oak NAS Kentucky Cluster Space Magnum in April, but it was all quite a pleasant surprise to see that people will buy literally any shit with our brand logo smeared across the front. Obviously we did what we always do and just tell people it was for charity, that seems to work every time.”
Other notable recent auction results for Macallan have been:
1: A branded tablecloth from the mid 1990s that someone once spilled a sizeable measure of the 1970 Anniverary Malt over. Hammer: £980
2: The overalls of infamous stillman Chester ‘Fingers’ MacTwitchy, which he reputedly wore while distilling in his sleep for several months during the late 1980s. Hammer: £1100
3: The empty cask in whose bung hole one of the distillery shareholders accidentally trapped their testicles in 1988 after a particularly heated game of ‘warehouse scrabble’ turned ugly. Hammer: £3500
4: One of the spark plugs from the Easter Eggs’ estate lawnmower which was temporarily used as a stopper for an open bottle of Ghillie’s Dram in 2009. £3700
Macallan had numerous places they could stick it
Macallan had numerous places they could stick it
5: Last of a batch of specially produced large branded candles used for an experiment in firing the slowest ever distillation run, the project was abandoned after 3 consecutive weeks and 483 candles. Hammer: £5800
Rory McTeflon added:
“There’s such a thirst for our brand at the moment. I’ve actually had our logo tattoed on my penis. It looks fine most of the time but unfortunately when I get an erection it kind of looks like its dissolving. Admittedly it was done on a whim and I probably didn’t think it through as well as I could have done. At least I got a blowjob from a someone called Professor Gunter in Dubai last week. He said he was an ‘avid’ collector so I said to him he seemed like a guy with a ‘CUMpletist’ attitude to collecting and he was like ‘yeah totally, are you asking for a blow job?’ I’m not gay but I was just so temporarily in awe of my own wit I lost all sense of place for about 2 minutes and by that time he’d already finished. In all fairness he had just had a dram of the Gold so he probably just wanted to get the taste out of his mouth.”
